Sometimes they just don’t tell you things. Sometimes they think you need the “life experience.” Sometimes I wish they would just tell you. I wish they would have told me.
Living the Christian life, especially the ministry life, is not the walk in the park that people think it is. Don’t get me wrong, God blesses his followers with a peace and comfort and joy for life that is unexplainable. But it doesn’t come without hardships and trials.
There are those normal things in life that I wish I would have been better equipped for. For instance, no one told me that my photographic memory would get me nowhere fast in college. No one ever emphasized study skills to me because I did so well in school. News flash: College is work. Actual work. But, nobody told me. There are just those things in life, you know?
In ministry there is one thing that we talk about sometimes, that we touch on sporadically, but that we struggle with often.
P R I D E.
They tell you about pride, some. They tell you God doesn’t like it. They tell you that it comes before the fall. But they don’t really tell you how hard you can fall. And of course Scripture tells us just how deadly and daunting pride can be. But humans have the talent for watering biblical principles down to seem less serious than they are.
The normal definition of “pride” is “a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”
I think a good, simple, biblical definition of pride is, “when one places confidence in self over confidence in God.”
The first definition of “pride” sounds so good. And it’s supposed to, but it’s not. We as the Church have watered down what pride really means because then we can justify not being vulnerable. Our shame from our sin prevents us from having the confidence in God to take a hold of our sin and our pain and cleanse us from it. We want to hold our sins and urges and thoughts inside because that’s where we can control them. That’s where our confidence lies. We talk about “pride”. But pride….pride is so much deeper. But nobody tells you.
They tell you about “pride” but they don’t tell you that one day you might be sitting at dinner and learn that your favorite professor has taken his own life because he was exposed in the Ashley Madison hack. He had more confidence in the fact that he could end his own pain than in the fact that God could transform his sin and pain. No one tells you how to act when that happens, either. The few days following his death were grief filled, yet awkward. No one knew what to say, or rather they knew…but vulnerability isn’t a widespread characteristic in that environment. That is, until his son stood up at his funeral and smashed pride in the face. And for him, I am thankful.
They tell you about “pride,” but they don’t tell you that one day the youth pastor down the road may be arrested for molesting one of his youth. And that it will rock the world of a family you know and love. No one tells you that pride can lead you down that sort of perverse and dark road that will ruin your life and the lives others, maybe even your pregnant wife.
They tell you about “pride,” but they don’t tell you that one day you’ll see a face on the news that you wish you hadn’t. That a beloved former church member and friend has murdered another woman’s husband to continue the affair he’s been having with her. No one tells you that pride can lead you down a road where your wife and three sons will be left feeling ashamed and abandoned, and that an innocent soul will be dead from cold blood. No one tells you these things.
We need to start telling. We need to start opening. James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” Which sounds so simple. But, is it? Is it easy to confess your sins/thoughts that are filthy, dark, sexual, evil? No. No, it’s not. But it’s healing!
After Dr. Gibson died, a group of 4 friends and I got together every week to study God and pray for each other. And we had one rule: Nothing leaves this room, and everything gets prayed for. And we shared things with people that we would never tell anyone else. It was the most restorative time of my life. And I encourage every Christian to do this. Be a part of a small group of people (even if it’s just you and someone else) that you can confess and share and eradicate the shame that comes along with pride.
Punch pride in the face. Take vulnerability out for coffee.
Cold Drip Discipleship 